EvErYthiNg SeEm GlooM aNd DaRk

continue my life story..in a way to motivate others..i try to complete..

SPM RESULT doesn't satistified me..
i felt very down and doesn't wanna out of my room..either to take food..

i have no appetite...eveything seem gloom and dark....but then...

after a week i imprison myself in the room..just taking a little bit food..

it made felt suffered and depressed..i dunno what i'm going to be in the future with that  bad result..

i still remember that time, umi bring me to school..waiting for the result with the cheer and bright smile..she then opened the result for me...

huhu... i know, you could imagined how sad and disappointed she was..

i know how was her feeling ...and me?how dread i'm, looking my mother sad because of me..how could u felt that?

for a week..i had trouble to sleep, talk to others and sometime  thinking of something not  rational could be done..therefore i know how suffer a person who cannot control their emotion..but, thanks goodness..with the blessing from my parents prayer, i didn't do anything unexpected..my close cousin called me many times to know the result...but i cut the phone line..i dunno why i did it..

then, after a week, after thinking much...after felt calm and relieve..

i hold all my strength, i grab back my enthusiasm, i throw all the tears that rolling on my face for about a week...i know my face seems horrible, with the red-eyes and cheek swelling..i went out the room,feeling guilty...

i met umi and abi..taking both hands..bow my head and said : "i'm sorry umi,abi..i couldn't achieve your hope, to look me be a doctor..to have a child who could treat them in the future, especially to treat my father's ill..i'm sorry,i couldn't make you happy"

they just smile to me and said : "there are no more happiness in parents life instead of looking their children success in life and in a good health..and now, do not think that you had been a failure..NOP,you're not..you journey is far, and success has no level and cannot be measure. it only, if you had try your best in your life,it is the great success..yong, please don't give up and never felt upset..REMEMBER THAT, LA TAKHAF WA LA TAHZAN, INNALLAHA MA ANA(don't you felt scared or sad, it is a sure that Allah will always with us or by ourside)"

"DAN JANGANLAH KAMU BERSIKAP LEMAH DAN JANGANLAH PULA KAMU BERSEDIH HATI PADAHAL KAMULAH ORANG-ORANG YANG PALING DARJATNYA JIKA KAMU ORANG-ORANG YANG BERIMAN"

after that, i jut apply for the UPU.. trough internet..without hoping for the MEDIC anymore..but sometime glance at the "perubatan" word..huhu..

that's why i told u before..we only as a planner but only Allah knows our fate.. but, 

my dear,

please don't mis understood of my words..although only Allah know's our fate but we as a human,had been  given two choice :
either want to be in the Heaven or in the Hell.

if we had chosen either one, we must try to be part of it..

you can't just let your fate without doing any effort..prepared
 you need to be kind if you wanna be in heaven and if you done bad, your place in the hell.

i know everybody's knows this
" jangan hanya berserah pada takdir "

so, continue my story..at the other time, i need to prepared...

..take care..

thanks reading